just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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