you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
