Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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