It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
