I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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