She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
