He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
