what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
