I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So here I am, sexting at work.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
