so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
