I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
