i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize