my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
