i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
