I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
