I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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