Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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