Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
