Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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