Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
