It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize