i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
