And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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