I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize