Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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