This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
