My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
