All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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