in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Terrible idea I love it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
