I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
