Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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