Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
