I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
