Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
