I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
