I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
