haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
