Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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