My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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