Who wears a wallet chain?!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
