i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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