i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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