I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
