clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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