okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
