Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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