you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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