I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I see more hoeing in ur future
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