Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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