i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
