Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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