Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
