then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Everything about him screamed your future.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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