This girl is more easily done than said...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
