Cold hands, warm shart.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
