ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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