carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize