well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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