He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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