She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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