i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
