I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize