So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Bring me that man meat
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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