Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize